Waffle for several years as to whether or not you and your partner want kids. In our case each of us, at different times, said we didn't want any kids at all.
Decide, after 4 1/2 years of marriage and 8 1/2 years of general togetherness, that you think it wouldn't be so bad to have kids. Maybe it'll even be fun, to have one or two. (You must want no more than two, or this will not work).
Go off pill after 8 years. The female's ovaries apparently will want to make up for lost time and release more than one egg.
Quickly massage in the general area of the ovaries before hopping in to bed each night. Even if you don't know precisely where your ovaries are, that's okay. The ovaries will know you're thinking of them and respond accordingly.
Say you wouldn't mind having twins, just to get the whole kid-making process over with quickly.
Have sex (this should be obvious).
Wait for one egg to decide to be an overachiever (or attention seeker from the get-go) and split in two, leaving you with two identical and one fraternal babies.
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